New mothers: How to cope with crying babies and sleepless nights

My first two babies were born in the same year, but they were not twins. My daughter was born Jan 31, and my son was born Dec 7th. My baby boy was seven and a half weeks early, and weighed 4 lbs 1/2 oz at birth, then went down to 3 lbs 10 Oz’s before beginning to gain weight. (I learned that this initial weight loss is common in preemies.)

They let me take him home on Christmas morning, on the promise that I would not expose him to family gathering germs. NO visitors allowed..not even grandmas for the first two weeks. He had gotten up to 4 1/2 pounds, and since I had been dividing my time between my 10 1/2 old baby at home, and my preemie at the hospital, it was quite a relief to get him home.

The biggest problem was that he was colicky, if he wasn’t eating, or sleeping, he was crying. He was having problems digesting the formula. I learned to hold him with my left arm, while I cooked and cared for my daughter, and attempted to keep our tiny apartment in some semblance of order.

One night after the two am feeding, I was in the midst of changing his diaper. The cradle was right next to my bed, as I was lifting his tiny legs to slip in the clean diaper, an explosion of golden brown muck was suddenly extruded all over him, the cradle bars, my bed, my pillow, the wall, and the electrical outlet in the wall. YUCK! By the time I finished cleaning up the mess it was time to feed him again. I was under instructions to feed him every 2 hours, keep a chart of how much he ate, spit-up, peed, and pooped.

My girl was still in diapers, and still using a bottle as well. She however was on a totally different schedule. I let her “help” me take care of the baby. If they were both crying for me at the same time, I would make a quick decision which could be taken care of the quickest, or which was the most urgent need.

Sleep deprivation became normal. One time I somehow managed to get the formula in the coffee cup, and the coffee in the bottle. Fortunately I always tested bottle temperature prior to feeding, and that coffee was hot when I shook it onto my inner wrist! I woke up. I declared a new rule. From that point on my spouse was to take every other feeding, all hours that he was not at work! I needed sleep too.

I was so glad that after the initial 2 weeks, we could let grandmas come in and help. Then after his six week check up showed all was well, we could let others come in as long as they weren’t ill. My little guy’s feeding schedule stretched to every three hours – then every four hours, as his little tummy got big enough to take in more formula per feeding. Life settled into a routine.

Thats the secret – get a routine going as soon as possible. Let other people help you, but keep them to the babies routine. If your nursing, someone else can burp the baby. As much as is feasible, keep bath time, diapers, and sleep time to a daily schedule, according to your baby’s needs. The schedule should be flexible enough to adjust sleep time as the baby gets older. Let older siblings have a specific thing that they do for the baby. Make sure they feel as if it is their baby too, and that they do not feel left out of the picture. Ditto for Dad, and grandmas as well. That way you do not get overwhelmed trying to do everything yourself. If you are single, with no family around enlist some friends to help. Don’t try to go it alone. Get together with another mom in the area and trade time watching the babies, allowing time for mommy naps, and or store runs.

Most importantly, take the time to enjoy your little one(s). The housework, and the laundry will always be there, but babies grow fast.