How to manage sleep challenges in high need babies

My first daughter is, was and will probably always be a high need individual. Now a three-year-old, her melodrama is offset by a wild imagination and energetic passion for everything. As an infant, it was downright worrisome. When we brought her home from the hospital, my husband and I looked at each other with pained expressions wondering what we had done. She cried what seemed like every waking minute. After confirming with the doctor that she was healthy, getting her to sleep through the night became my obsession. The knowledge I learned from books and other mothers with well-rested children carried through to my second daughter who slept through the night at 8 weeks:

Consistency is key. Develop a pattern for the day and a pattern for bedtime. Our days went something like this: a roughly three hour feeding schedule that consisted of a feeding, then some time awake, then down for a nap in her crib. We repeated this patten until the last feeding when we took out the playtime and just put her straight to bed. I believe this helped her differentiate day from night.

Get a full feeding before bed. I’d really push to make sure she was good and full before bed. I’d nurse her and then supplement a little formula. My girls got better sleep when full rather than “snacking” all day and night.

Turn off the light. I had some idea that my baby would get scared if I didn’t leave a night light on. But my husband reminded me she spent 9 months in the dark. I found she might still wake up but give a little whine, then fall right back to sleep because it was still dark.

A little crying is OK. When nothing worked, I’d let her cry for a while. If she cried longer than 15 minutes, I’d pick her up, comfort her and try again.

If all else fails, get help. I have a good friend who is has turned her sleep knowledge into a part-time job assisting families undo the bad sleeping habits they’ve developed.